Stuckness..  Negativity..  Acceptance..  And Changing The Energy.. 

What can you do when, whatever you try, you seem to be getting nowhere?  You are beating yourself up because you are overweight, you are out of work, you have no money coming in, you have bills to pay, you can’t afford stuff for your kids, you have health problems, your partner has problems too..  or you are all alone..  You may be using alcohol to blank out from your worries.. or medications or drugs..  but you know that is not a good solution, but however much you try, you just can’t seem to break out of the “habit”..  You feel that life is just passing you by..  You may feel you are “past your prime” in life..  You’re just never going to get anywhere..  You are stuck.

And you seem to have been stuck forever..  You have tried numerous ways of attacking the problem, but nothing seems to get you out of your stuckness.  You have asked other people for help, you have tried all the methods you know have worked for others, you have tried all the methods that used to work for you in the past..  But nothing is working now..  You are frustrated, overwhelmed, exhausted, totally fed up with making the effort, totally fed up with living like this..  But you can’t give up..  But nothing you do seems to make a difference.  You’ve heard the term “just keep going”, things will get better eventually, just keep the faith, keep trying, it will work out in the end..  But it has been going on for so long…  You are not sure if you have anything left in you to keep trying anymore..  And you are not even sure anymore what it is you are trying to do, or what you need to keep trying to do..  You’ve lost the plot..  You had dreams, but they all seem impossible now, pie-in-the-sky, so far away..  it all seems futile..  You can’t remember the last time you felt good.. about yourself.. or your life..  You just want to sleep..  or go hit the bottle and blot it all out..

Your brain hurts with constantly going round and round, trying to figure out how to solve the problem..  You keep trying to think of other options, other methods of attack, other opportunities, other ideas, other roads, other directions..  You are just so exhausted and frustrated and totally fed up with it all..  You know you are not lazy..  You know you are intelligent, resourceful, creative, hard-working..  You know you have skills, talents, qualifications, and lots of things you can offer the world..  But you just can’t seem to figure out a way to get out there and make use of all this positive stuff you have..  Why can’t you solve the problem?!  You’ve tried lots of different things..  But you just seemed to come up against constant obstacles, closed doors, resistance, rejection..  You are totally discouraged, have lost all confidence in yourself, and you’ve lost all faith in the world in general.. 

You know that there are lots of other people in the world who are much worse off than you – whether due to culture, religion, geographical location, economy, politics, poverty, lack of opportunity, lack of education, lack of food/warmth/home/work, war, terrorism, famine, earthquakes, floods, drought, tsunamis, hurricanes, and so on..  You should be grateful for what you have – food, warmth, clothes, friends, technology, whatever..  But you just can’t..  The word “gratitude” just irritates you..  You just can’t connect with it, you can’t feel it..  You’ve heard of the “law of attraction”, that you get back what you put out..  So is it all your own fault?!  So you beat yourself up again for being a whingeing, whineing, moaning minnie..  Why don’t you just get off your ass and do something?!  But what?  You feel as though you have tried everything you can think of, but you just seem to go round in circles..  or you get nowhere at all..  You’re stuck.  There must be another way, another approach, some other route or method you haven’t thought of yet..  Your brain hurts..

So what do you do?  Accept?  So what is acceptance?  Is it giving up?  You can’t do that.  What about acknowledgement?  What about “going with the flow”?  What about stopping resisting?  Letting go?  Trusting the universe?  What does all this mean?  You’re not sure you know what all this means.  How can you “go with the flow” when you are stuck?

Releasing and letting go of negative energy (thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, and so on).  You feel sure it’s something to do with this.  But how do you do that? 

Small steps..  Small efforts..  Repetitive small efforts..  Small changes..  Persistent, consistent changes..  That last bit sounds too much to be able to do, to keep up..  Let’s go back to small steps and small efforts..  and repeating them whenever you feel you can.  You’re still not sure how you let go of negative energy etc..  The negative stuff is part of your daily life, your daily routine, your unconscious habits..  Well, if we can’t start with releasing the negative stuff just yet, how about trying to introduce a few positive things first..  Maybe if you do that, and keep doing it, little by little, the positive energy will start to push out the negative stuff..  What little positive things can you do?  Well, do one or two things that make you feel a bit better.  Do your hair, do your make-up, brush your teeth, have a shave, have a relaxing bath, wear something pretty or smart.  Play some music you like, watch a movie you love, or a comedy show.  Tidy up, do the laundry, do the dishes, make the bed.  File some papers that need filing.  Tidy your clothes away.  Take a walk.  Feel the sun/rain/wind on your face.  Watch the birds outside, listen to the breeze rustling the trees, look up at the sky.  Read a book.  Phone/skype/email/text a friend.  Arrange to meet up with a friend/ someone who makes you feel good.  (NB. Avoid negative/ critical/ unsupportive/ unsympathetic people!)  Meditate/listen to a guided visualisation.  Attend a workshop/lecture.  Join a class or club.  Go to the gym.  Do some yoga/tai chi.  Go for a run/jog/swim/bike-ride.  Drive somewhere nice in the car or travel somewhere on the train/bus.  Visit the seaside.. or a river, garden, meadow, lake, mountain.. whatever..  Draw, paint, write poetry.  Write a blog or write in your journal/diary.  Be creative in the kitchen.  Stroke the cat.  Take the dog for a walk.  Play with your kids.  And be present with all of these moments and experiences.  Be “mindful” of them.  Savour any good feelings..  and commit them to your bank of good memories and experiences..

Look at old photos of good times..  places and people and experiences that evoke happy memories.  Remember back to good times and places and people and experiences..  Daydream and relive some of these happy times if you can..  just for a little while..

And acknowledge..  that you are taking small positive steps, doing small positive things..  Congratulate yourself.  And accept..  Accept yourself for what and who you are at the present moment, and for where you are at the present time.  Accept that you are doing the best you can at the present time.  Sometimes that is the very best we can do..  and the only thing we can do..  Be kind to yourself.  Be patient with yourself.  Little by little, know that the energy is changing..  that you are helping to change the energy..  adding a little positive here and there..  and little by little replacing and releasing the negative..

Amanda Jackson-Russell, BSc (Hons), PhD (Neuroscience), Clinical & Cognitive-Behavioural Hypnotherapist, Emotional Therapist, EFT Practitioner, Stress Management Consultant/ Relaxation Skills Trainer, Meditation & Mindfulness Instructor, Reiki Master, Spiritual/Energy Healing Facilitator, Healer Member of NFSH, Medical/Health Writer & Editor. AJR Hypnotherapy Surrey and Energessence Natural Healing. Epsom, Ewell, Ashtead, Leatherhead, and surrounding areas, Surrey, England.